the thinkgeeks over at weburbanist.com came up with a top 10 list of the coolest gadgets that were pretty inclusive, I mean who doesn't want a USB foam rocket launcher, or a USB rechargable battery, or even a portable George Foreman grill? but the list was missing a couple essentials that are CRITICAL to any geek's collection of USB toys.
1. transforming USB flash drive
yeah you read that right. boring old flash drive? imagine having a USB flash drive that TRANSFORMS!!! and actually looks balla when its transformed, not like some horribly disproportioned kids meal toy.
ravage (black panther)
tigatron (white lion)
2. the USB powered chainsaw
sudden zombie invasion at work? annoying boss/coworkers got you thirsty for blood? do you need to cut down tiny office trees? or do you want to equip your ravage USB flash drive with a weapon? look no further. the USB powered chainsaw is as deadly as it sounds. maybe even more. and yes you read it right. a USB. powered. CHAINSAW.
I present to you. the i.Saw
3. the USB fridge
a little more practical for those hot summer days and less "texas chainsaw massacre (or texas chainsaw instruments?)" plug it in and wait a couple minutes to reach the desired temperature, and this fridge will keep your can of soda (or anything relative to its size) cool so you won't ever have to drink warm diet coke again (it tastes rancid).
USB fridge
4. USB desk vacuum
what better way to say "my desk is the apex of cleanliness and organization," this USB desk vacuum has a cool retro feel that keeps your desk free from "crummies"
USB desk vacuum
♫NP: "the boy who blocked his own shot" - Brand New
p.s. the new Brand New album entitled "Daisy" will be released on September 22, 2009 aka first day of fall, aka my birthday. best gift ever. unless the album sucks. but not like the vacuum.
so I wake up today and find that there is a giant gross orange "WILL BE TOWED" sticker on my car and my immediate reaction is. "uhhh" (I was still wayyy groggy) anywho, the sticker says that my car license plates are about to expire (expire at the end of June) and my car will be towed this Saturday if I don't get that fixed. and guess who's threatening to tow my car? the Ashburn Village Homeowner's Association. now I'm pissed, what kind of legal rights to they have to tow my car because of plates that will expire 2-3 weeks after its tow date? luckily my mom had the stickers, she just never bothered to tell me. so I slap the stickers on no problem, I'm good to go.
so I email the Nazis (what I'll call the Homeowner's Association) and they reply with.
"We will check your car in the next 3-4 work days. If the plates are updated and that was the only problem you should be fine. If there were other problems such as no/outdated Loudoun or inspection stickers, then you are still subject to be towed."
1. 3-4 work days is not good enough, my car is going to be towed in 2-3 workdays.
2. so you're telling me that you guys are going to come back in 3-4 days to check if you guys could tow my car for other reasons.
3. "should be fine" means nothing to me.
so I shoot back an email to them saying if they could come back and check the legality of the car before tow date that would be great, and if they could notify me before they tow it of any other legal issues. and they reply with.
so I email the Nazis (what I'll call the Homeowner's Association) and they reply with.
"We will check your car in the next 3-4 work days. If the plates are updated and that was the only problem you should be fine. If there were other problems such as no/outdated Loudoun or inspection stickers, then you are still subject to be towed."
1. 3-4 work days is not good enough, my car is going to be towed in 2-3 workdays.
2. so you're telling me that you guys are going to come back in 3-4 days to check if you guys could tow my car for other reasons.
3. "should be fine" means nothing to me.
so I shoot back an email to them saying if they could come back and check the legality of the car before tow date that would be great, and if they could notify me before they tow it of any other legal issues. and they reply with.
"No. You are required by the laws of Virginia to keep the county and inspection stickers current. It is your responsibility, not that of the Association, to insure your vehicle is legally compliant."
1. IF ITS NOT THE ASSOCIATION'S RESPONSIBILITY TO INSURE MY VEHICLE IS LEGALLY COMPLIANT WHY ARE YOU TOWING IT BECAUSE IT IS NOT LEGALLY COMPLIANT. AND EVEN IF MY CAR WASN'T LEGALLY COMPLIANT, SHOULDN'T THE STATE OF VIRGINIA THREATEN TO TOW MY CAR AND NOT YOU NAZIS?
2. they never answered the question of "will my car be towed even though it is legally compliant because you guys don't want to come and check it before the tow date"...
I tell this story because it reminds me of another story. one of high-ranking Nazi officials happened to be in my AP Literature class back in high school. she told us a story about how her father made up a BS rule on the spot forbidding individuals to "display aquatic vehicles in plain view (aka the driveway" BECAUSE his neighbor had an expensive boat sitting in the driveway that made his expensive car look like he got it from the flea market.
everyone has the "things I want to do before I die," but I had to one-up them and make my own ridiculous list. its a work in progress, and they all have their own cute little stories that explain where they came from, so here we go.
1. be famous enough so random people/strangers will give me... stuff
inspiration: interview of John Cho from this month's GQ [excerpt below]
How often do people call you Harold?
Daily.
Any perks?
People always offer me... stuff.
Any by stuff do you mean weed?
Yes.
2. learn echolocation. its definitely doable. at least for this blind kid.
inspiration:
Wtf blogger why do you have formatting issues?
1. be famous enough so random people/strangers will give me... stuff
inspiration: interview of John Cho from this month's GQ [excerpt below]
How often do people call you Harold?
Daily.
Any perks?
People always offer me... stuff.
Any by stuff do you mean weed?
Yes.
2. learn echolocation. its definitely doable. at least for this blind kid.
inspiration:
Wtf blogger why do you have formatting issues?
electronic band with a female lead? makes me want to get up and dance because its just so catchy. don't bother listening to the B. Rich remix, it just overloads your ears with just noise. like a Sonic Youth album. ZING.
Now Playing: La Roux - "Tigerlily"
After a scathing review of Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen, it seems only appropriate to compile a list of how to make the movie better, or tips for the third movie (yes Paramount said they were going to release it around Summer 2011, but Michael Bay wants to take a break from fighting robots) and we all know Mr. Bay needs some pointers, because he has no original ideas of his own (visual effects aren't ideas, thanks for pointing that out South Park)
1. CHANGE THE PLOT SO THAT THE EMPHASIS IS ON THE TRANSFORMERS, NOT THE PEOPLE
How? Mention the Sun Harvester earlier, activate it earlier in the movie so there is a sense of urgency (when the movie is over 2 hours long, a sense of urgency is critical). The Sun Harvester also drains the life energy of the sentient beings (humans) as an additional activation cost so they become rapidly useless. Using the military to successfully fight the Decepticons is just a slap in the face. This means that the Autobots and Decepticons get more screen time at the expense of Shia Lebouf, his parents which served as a vehicle of inappropriate humor (especially his mom), Megan Fox (we get it Michael Bay, shes hot, you don't need a Transformer humping her leg to prove that point), and the humans in general. And honestly, most of the moviegoers want to see robot carnage, the movie is called "Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen" not "Transformers and annoying human friends 2: Revenge of the Fallen"
2. CHANGE THE FIGHT SCENES SO WE ACTUALLY CAN MAKE SENSE OF WHAT WE'RE SEEING
Zoom out and give the Decepticons some actual color, instead of making them all grey and silver so we can visually see whats going on when they are fighting in hand-to-hand combat instead of using our imaginations. And why are they fighting in such close range when they have blaster technology thats far superior than hand-to-hand combat (although I must admit the energon sword parts were pretty fucking sweet. we could use more of that, and less of Transformers Tae Kwon Do). Forcing the Transformers to fight far apart seperates them, and individually the Transformers look AMAZING visually but only against the backdrop of real life. And why do only the Decepticons have the ability to summon a massive army from outer space instantly? Its hard to believe that only a handful of Autobots were protecting Earth for these generations.
3. RADICALLY CHANGE THE ENDING
When Optimus Prime fused with the SR-71 Blackbird, that was BAD ASS. Extend that fight scene, emphasize how much of a champ he is by doing a sort of 300 move, him versus a shitton of Decepticons, and he owns them all. Maybe even fuse him with his trailer, giving him additional unneccessary but visually orgasmic firepower.
Thats all for now.
1. CHANGE THE PLOT SO THAT THE EMPHASIS IS ON THE TRANSFORMERS, NOT THE PEOPLE
How? Mention the Sun Harvester earlier, activate it earlier in the movie so there is a sense of urgency (when the movie is over 2 hours long, a sense of urgency is critical). The Sun Harvester also drains the life energy of the sentient beings (humans) as an additional activation cost so they become rapidly useless. Using the military to successfully fight the Decepticons is just a slap in the face. This means that the Autobots and Decepticons get more screen time at the expense of Shia Lebouf, his parents which served as a vehicle of inappropriate humor (especially his mom), Megan Fox (we get it Michael Bay, shes hot, you don't need a Transformer humping her leg to prove that point), and the humans in general. And honestly, most of the moviegoers want to see robot carnage, the movie is called "Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen" not "Transformers and annoying human friends 2: Revenge of the Fallen"
2. CHANGE THE FIGHT SCENES SO WE ACTUALLY CAN MAKE SENSE OF WHAT WE'RE SEEING
Zoom out and give the Decepticons some actual color, instead of making them all grey and silver so we can visually see whats going on when they are fighting in hand-to-hand combat instead of using our imaginations. And why are they fighting in such close range when they have blaster technology thats far superior than hand-to-hand combat (although I must admit the energon sword parts were pretty fucking sweet. we could use more of that, and less of Transformers Tae Kwon Do). Forcing the Transformers to fight far apart seperates them, and individually the Transformers look AMAZING visually but only against the backdrop of real life. And why do only the Decepticons have the ability to summon a massive army from outer space instantly? Its hard to believe that only a handful of Autobots were protecting Earth for these generations.
3. RADICALLY CHANGE THE ENDING
When Optimus Prime fused with the SR-71 Blackbird, that was BAD ASS. Extend that fight scene, emphasize how much of a champ he is by doing a sort of 300 move, him versus a shitton of Decepticons, and he owns them all. Maybe even fuse him with his trailer, giving him additional unneccessary but visually orgasmic firepower.
Thats all for now.
--WARNING POSSIBLE SPOILERS--
I was surprised at how accurate the critics were about this movie. I've been waiting for it ever since the sneak peak pictures were released, and it was incredibly disappointing.
--WARNING SPOILERS--
-CONS-
1. Shia Lebouf
2. Action scenes were way drawn out and mostly involved Shia Lebouf doing a lot of running.
3. Too much emphasis on humans.
4. Inappropriate humor (Mom eating weed brownie and talking about her son popping his cherry just recently?)
5. The transformer fighting scenes were convoluted, it made no visual sense and when a couple were fighting each other in hand-to-hand combat (WTF?) I had 0 idea what was going on.
6. Optimus Prime is dead for half the movie.
7. Optimus Prime doesn't say "Autobots, roll out" but instead says something cliche like "Autobots, lets rock".
8. Humans were WAY too powerful in comparison to the transformers.
9. Giant plot holes (where did that tiny RC car go? He fell in the giant plot hole)
10. Abrupt ending.
11. They used the original Megatron voice actor for the movie video game, but not for the actual movie itself?
-PROS-
1. Classic feud between Starscream and Megatron (he has a voice now)
2. Incredibly realistic transformers violence (Optimus punches through the allspark of the Fallen, rips apart the head of Grindor)
3. Optimus Prime fusing with a SR-71 Blackbird, looking really similar to Wing Zero from Gundam Wing
4. Constructicons
5. Amazing visual/CGI effects
6. Epic music
7. Some witty humor
8. Megan Fox is really hot, even if they played off her hotness inappropriately at times.
9. Shia Lebouf dies (for a couple minutes but still)
10. Seeing it in IMAX is probably orgasmic.
Overall, I'd give it a 4.5/10, just because it had SO MUCH potential to be amazing, but it wasn't.
I was surprised at how accurate the critics were about this movie. I've been waiting for it ever since the sneak peak pictures were released, and it was incredibly disappointing.
--WARNING SPOILERS--
-CONS-
1. Shia Lebouf
2. Action scenes were way drawn out and mostly involved Shia Lebouf doing a lot of running.
3. Too much emphasis on humans.
4. Inappropriate humor (Mom eating weed brownie and talking about her son popping his cherry just recently?)
5. The transformer fighting scenes were convoluted, it made no visual sense and when a couple were fighting each other in hand-to-hand combat (WTF?) I had 0 idea what was going on.
6. Optimus Prime is dead for half the movie.
7. Optimus Prime doesn't say "Autobots, roll out" but instead says something cliche like "Autobots, lets rock".
8. Humans were WAY too powerful in comparison to the transformers.
9. Giant plot holes (where did that tiny RC car go? He fell in the giant plot hole)
10. Abrupt ending.
11. They used the original Megatron voice actor for the movie video game, but not for the actual movie itself?
-PROS-
1. Classic feud between Starscream and Megatron (he has a voice now)
2. Incredibly realistic transformers violence (Optimus punches through the allspark of the Fallen, rips apart the head of Grindor)
3. Optimus Prime fusing with a SR-71 Blackbird, looking really similar to Wing Zero from Gundam Wing
4. Constructicons
5. Amazing visual/CGI effects
6. Epic music
7. Some witty humor
8. Megan Fox is really hot, even if they played off her hotness inappropriately at times.
9. Shia Lebouf dies (for a couple minutes but still)
10. Seeing it in IMAX is probably orgasmic.
Overall, I'd give it a 4.5/10, just because it had SO MUCH potential to be amazing, but it wasn't.
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