obama won the nobel peace prize?

according to NobelPrize.org, Obama won the prize "for his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples." Honestly, I think he won the prize for this reason and this reason only.

this kid has got the right idea.

prehack hates his job...

"My job is so fucking unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career oppertunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big fucking dog to work. Every fucking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single fucking day.

Anyway, I drive these fucktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit."

- prehack

clinton FTdubs.

I'm sure most of you have heard of this story, if not, its pretty simple; two American journalists "sneaked" into N. Korea and engaged in reportedly "hostile" actions, and a top N. Korean court sentenced the two to 12 years hard labor. despite many political efforts by the US to release the pair, it was CLINTON to the rescue, negotiating with Kim Jong-il.

read the article here.

the twitter experiment.

I'd like to think of myself as an individual well-versed in internet communities. digg, facebook, reddit, 4chan, hypem, blog, to name a few. BUT theres one internet community that I've refused to participate in (besides youtube and yahoo, those guys are morons) and that is twitter. but recently, its popularity has EXPLODED, making me question if there is something more to twitter than just facebook status updates, considering the fact that...

1. future Best Buy managers are required to have 250+ "friends" on twitter (for some outreach bullshit I guess)
2. popular news anchors/journalists/24 news channels have their own twitter accounts
3. twitter has integrated itself with many video games, such as city of heroes and champions.
4. there don't seem to be as many "fake" celebrity accounts on twitter

SO to answer my many questions about twitter, I decided to sign up for an account myself, just to see what the fuss is all about. I predict that twitter is just a dumbed-down version of facebook, made for older/less technologically savvy individuals that still want to take part in the "internet revolution".

update 1. twitter's website is lagging. fabulous.
update 2. apparently my full name is too long. why the hell did they limit your full name to 20 characters?!
update 3. twitter is over capacity to upload my picture.
update 4. I already hate twitter.
there is only one man that could express my anger in a meaningful, yet articulate way. Hitler.

found this gem at gossipgamers.com

Now Playing - "Tick Tock (P. Diddy)" - Kesha ♫

Now Playing: "I'm Shakin'" - Rooney ♫

to all your environmentalists out there.

great job George Carlin I couldn't agree with you more.

coolest USB devices.

the thinkgeeks over at weburbanist.com came up with a top 10 list of the coolest gadgets that were pretty inclusive, I mean who doesn't want a USB foam rocket launcher, or a USB rechargable battery, or even a portable George Foreman grill? but the list was missing a couple essentials that are CRITICAL to any geek's collection of USB toys.

1. transforming USB flash drive
yeah you read that right. boring old flash drive? imagine having a USB flash drive that TRANSFORMS!!! and actually looks balla when its transformed, not like some horribly disproportioned kids meal toy.
ravage (black panther)
tigatron (white lion)

2. the USB powered chainsaw
sudden zombie invasion at work? annoying boss/coworkers got you thirsty for blood? do you need to cut down tiny office trees? or do you want to equip your ravage USB flash drive with a weapon? look no further. the USB powered chainsaw is as deadly as it sounds. maybe even more. and yes you read it right. a USB. powered. CHAINSAW.
I present to you. the i.Saw

3. the USB fridge
a little more practical for those hot summer days and less "texas chainsaw massacre (or texas chainsaw instruments?)" plug it in and wait a couple minutes to reach the desired temperature, and this fridge will keep your can of soda (or anything relative to its size) cool so you won't ever have to drink warm diet coke again (it tastes rancid).
USB fridge

4. USB desk vacuum
what better way to say "my desk is the apex of cleanliness and organization," this USB desk vacuum has a cool retro feel that keeps your desk free from "crummies"
USB desk vacuum

♫NP: "the boy who blocked his own shot" - Brand New

p.s. the new Brand New album entitled "Daisy" will be released on September 22, 2009 aka first day of fall, aka my birthday. best gift ever. unless the album sucks. but not like the vacuum.

bonus round.

so I wake up today and find that there is a giant gross orange "WILL BE TOWED" sticker on my car and my immediate reaction is. "uhhh" (I was still wayyy groggy) anywho, the sticker says that my car license plates are about to expire (expire at the end of June) and my car will be towed this Saturday if I don't get that fixed. and guess who's threatening to tow my car? the Ashburn Village Homeowner's Association. now I'm pissed, what kind of legal rights to they have to tow my car because of plates that will expire 2-3 weeks after its tow date? luckily my mom had the stickers, she just never bothered to tell me. so I slap the stickers on no problem, I'm good to go.

so I email the Nazis (what I'll call the Homeowner's Association) and they reply with.

"We will check your car in the next 3-4 work days. If the plates are updated and that was the only problem you should be fine. If there were other problems such as no/outdated Loudoun or inspection stickers, then you are still subject to be towed."

1. 3-4 work days is not good enough, my car is going to be towed in 2-3 workdays.
2. so you're telling me that you guys are going to come back in 3-4 days to check if you guys could tow my car for other reasons.
3. "should be fine" means nothing to me.

so I shoot back an email to them saying if they could come back and check the legality of the car before tow date that would be great, and if they could notify me before they tow it of any other legal issues. and they reply with.

"No. You are required by the laws of Virginia to keep the county and inspection stickers current. It is your responsibility, not that of the Association, to insure your vehicle is legally compliant."


2. they never answered the question of "will my car be towed even though it is legally compliant because you guys don't want to come and check it before the tow date"


I tell this story because it reminds me of another story. one of high-ranking Nazi officials happened to be in my AP Literature class back in high school. she told us a story about how her father made up a BS rule on the spot forbidding individuals to "display aquatic vehicles in plain view (aka the driveway" BECAUSE his neighbor had an expensive boat sitting in the driveway that made his expensive car look like he got it from the flea market.

things I want to accomplish before I die but probably won't.

everyone has the "things I want to do before I die," but I had to one-up them and make my own ridiculous list. its a work in progress, and they all have their own cute little stories that explain where they came from, so here we go.

1. be famous enough so random people/strangers will give me... stuff
inspiration: interview of John Cho from this month's GQ [excerpt below]

How often do people call you Harold?
Any perks?
People always offer me... stuff.
Any by stuff do you mean weed?

2. learn echolocation. its definitely doable. at least for this blind kid.

Wtf blogger why do you have formatting issues?

I'm obsessed with this song right now.

electronic band with a female lead? makes me want to get up and dance because its just so catchy. don't bother listening to the B. Rich remix, it just overloads your ears with just noise. like a Sonic Youth album. ZING.

Now Playing: La Roux - "Tigerlily"

how Albert would change the Transformers 2 movie.

After a scathing review of Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen, it seems only appropriate to compile a list of how to make the movie better, or tips for the third movie (yes Paramount said they were going to release it around Summer 2011, but Michael Bay wants to take a break from fighting robots) and we all know Mr. Bay needs some pointers, because he has no original ideas of his own (visual effects aren't ideas, thanks for pointing that out South Park)

How? Mention the Sun Harvester earlier, activate it earlier in the movie so there is a sense of urgency (when the movie is over 2 hours long, a sense of urgency is critical). The Sun Harvester also drains the life energy of the sentient beings (humans) as an additional activation cost so they become rapidly useless. Using the military to successfully fight the Decepticons is just a slap in the face. This means that the Autobots and Decepticons get more screen time at the expense of Shia Lebouf, his parents which served as a vehicle of inappropriate humor (especially his mom), Megan Fox (we get it Michael Bay, shes hot, you don't need a Transformer humping her leg to prove that point), and the humans in general. And honestly, most of the moviegoers want to see robot carnage, the movie is called "Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen" not "Transformers and annoying human friends 2: Revenge of the Fallen"

Zoom out and give the Decepticons some actual color, instead of making them all grey and silver so we can visually see whats going on when they are fighting in hand-to-hand combat instead of using our imaginations. And why are they fighting in such close range when they have blaster technology thats far superior than hand-to-hand combat (although I must admit the energon sword parts were pretty fucking sweet. we could use more of that, and less of Transformers Tae Kwon Do). Forcing the Transformers to fight far apart seperates them, and individually the Transformers look AMAZING visually but only against the backdrop of real life. And why do only the Decepticons have the ability to summon a massive army from outer space instantly? Its hard to believe that only a handful of Autobots were protecting Earth for these generations.

When Optimus Prime fused with the SR-71 Blackbird, that was BAD ASS. Extend that fight scene, emphasize how much of a champ he is by doing a sort of 300 move, him versus a shitton of Decepticons, and he owns them all. Maybe even fuse him with his trailer, giving him additional unneccessary but visually orgasmic firepower.

Thats all for now.

I was surprised at how accurate the critics were about this movie. I've been waiting for it ever since the sneak peak pictures were released, and it was incredibly disappointing.


1. Shia Lebouf
2. Action scenes were way drawn out and mostly involved Shia Lebouf doing a lot of running.
3. Too much emphasis on humans.
4. Inappropriate humor (Mom eating weed brownie and talking about her son popping his cherry just recently?)
5. The transformer fighting scenes were convoluted, it made no visual sense and when a couple were fighting each other in hand-to-hand combat (WTF?) I had 0 idea what was going on.
6. Optimus Prime is dead for half the movie.
7. Optimus Prime doesn't say "Autobots, roll out" but instead says something cliche like "Autobots, lets rock".
8. Humans were WAY too powerful in comparison to the transformers.
9. Giant plot holes (where did that tiny RC car go? He fell in the giant plot hole)
10. Abrupt ending.
11. They used the original Megatron voice actor for the movie video game, but not for the actual movie itself?

1. Classic feud between Starscream and Megatron (he has a voice now)
2. Incredibly realistic transformers violence (Optimus punches through the allspark of the Fallen, rips apart the head of Grindor)
3. Optimus Prime fusing with a SR-71 Blackbird, looking really similar to Wing Zero from Gundam Wing
4. Constructicons
5. Amazing visual/CGI effects
6. Epic music
7. Some witty humor
8. Megan Fox is really hot, even if they played off her hotness inappropriately at times.
9. Shia Lebouf dies (for a couple minutes but still)
10. Seeing it in IMAX is probably orgasmic.

Overall, I'd give it a 4.5/10, just because it had SO MUCH potential to be amazing, but it wasn't.

I bet you he doesn't make it to the end of the week.

ladies, gentlemen, kids, I've decided that I'm going to take a break from eating sandwiches. I need to spend some time without it, not to prove a point or because I'm getting addicted or anything, but just to prove it to myself that I can do it (I guess I am proving a point).

and by eating sandwiches I mean vaporizing grass. I need to stop making "How I met your mother" references.

NP: "I've underestimated my charm again" - Black Kids

I'm actually gonna do one of these.

1. Who took your profile picture?
did I tell you my memory gets fuzzy sometimes? and by sometimes I mean when I drink? drink heavily?

2. Exactly what are you wearing right now?
SUMMER: sky blue tee, white 9" shorts, boat-shoes.

3. What is your current problem?
season 3 of "How I met your mother" won't download fast enough.

4. What makes you most happy?
being emo. HAHA.

5. What's the name of the song that you're listening to?
BURN THIS CITY (don't worry its an emo song)


1. Ice Cream?
I don't eat ice cream casually, unless its in a sno-to-go stuffed snow, unless I'm sad, unless I'm in the mood for it.

2. Season?
autumn, my birthday is the first day of autumn.

3. Book?
the perks of being a wallflower

4. Color?

5. Food?
is delicious.

7. Pen color?

8. Store?

9. Person?

10. Music?
is musica in spanish.i think.

-Do You…-

1. Write on your hand:
who doesn't?

2. Call people back?

3.Believe in Love?

4. Sleep on a certain side of the bed?

-Have You…-

quiz ends here because I got bored of it.

awesome links of the day.

20% of our genes are PATENTed, hindering cancer research. link.

three words. assault. rifle. bacon. link.

Ventura on THE VIEW, discussing torture [VIDEO]. link.

but I thought you loved baths. link.

its ONLY appropriate that the first WHAT THE FUCK article is this. link.

project runway rm

THE FASHION SHOW on BRAVO, supposedly the next PROJECT RUNWAY (which it isn't) makes me want to watch reruns of PROJECT RUNWAY just because it is SO MUCH BETTER. but heres the lowdown on THE FASHION SHOW.

the HOSTS.
Issac Mizrahi and Kelly Rowland.

way too boring. i'm sure you were way influential in the fashion world, but as hosts filling the shoes of hot as hell Heidi Klum and Tim Gunn, you two fall short, but nice try.


on the other hand, you have the 15 contestants that are just WAY TOO "alternative" and specialized in their area of fashion. I mean there were at least three designers that identified themselves as "experimental," and and that guy who designs based on post-colonial fashion that WON THE FIRST CHALLENGE? and that other guy who designs MEN'S UNDERWEAR? what kind of designers did they turn down if they let THAT guy in?

all in all, I cannot WAIT for the next season of PROJECT RUNWAY.

p.s. the fourth season of THE O.C. isn't bad, now that one of the protagonists, Marissa is dead. now if that only happened in GREY'S ANATOMY with Meredith.

can't think of a title.

for my blog, not for my posts.


DragonflyBlade21: A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.


woah totally forgot that i had this blog. Jesus would get angry if he knew that I was cheating on my livejournal with blogger.

p.s. tina fey is unnecessarily attractive.

"don't have sex because you will die"